Forgiveness: an essential key to inner healing

Forgiveness is one of the most liberating acts we can accomplish in our lives. Yet, it often remains one of the most difficult to put into practice. Many associate forgiveness with “excusing” or “minimizing” an offense. In reality, forgiveness is not primarily meant for others, but above all for ourselves: it is a path of reconciliation with our own being.

As Lise Bourbeau writes in Listen to Your Body:

“The main reason for the presence of any wound comes from the inability to forgive ourselves for what we do to ourselves or what we do to others.”

In other words, every emotional wound—rejection, abandonment, humiliation, betrayal, injustice—takes root and persists not only because a painful event occurred, but because we remain unable to grant ourselves the right to make mistakes, to be weak, or to be imperfect.

Why is it so difficult to forgive oneself?

Self-forgiveness requires a particular kind of clarity. Often, we don’t even see that we are harming ourselves. We remain trapped in unrealistic expectations, harsh judgments, and constant self-criticism. This shows up as inner statements such as:

• “I should have done better.”

• “I don’t deserve to be happy.”

• “It’s my fault this happened.”

Instead of easing our suffering, we reinforce it by clinging to guilt or replaying the past over and over again.

Forgiveness as an Act of Self-Love

To forgive is not to forget or deny what happened, but to recognize that we did our best with the resources and awareness we had at that moment. It is also to accept that others, just like us, act according to their own wounds and limitations.

Practicing forgiveness means giving ourselves permission to no longer remain identified with our pain, but to open the door to inner peace. It requires humility, compassion, and above all a conscious choice to free ourselves from the weight of resentment.

How to Cultivate Forgiveness?

• Acknowledge the wound: Identify the emotion or limiting belief that is holding you back.

• Welcome the experience without judgment: Recognize the pain without trying to minimize it.

• Show compassion toward yourself: Remember that making mistakes is part of being human.

• Set the intention to forgive: Even if peace does not come immediately, choose to stop feeding resentment.

  
  

A Path Toward Inner Freedom

Forgiveness is not a one-time act, but a journey. It may require time, patience, and sometimes guidance. Yet every step toward forgiveness lightens our hearts and brings us closer to our true essence: love of self and love of others.

As Lise Bourbeau reminds us, learning to forgive ourselves is an essential step in healing our inner wounds. As long as we remain locked in guilt or resentment, we continue to feed our suffering. But the moment we choose forgiveness, we reclaim our personal power and open the way to move forward with serenity.